Mamma Mia!
I don't care if you slept with hundreds of men. You're my mom, and I love you so much.
I'm writing Newsletter #16 on Mother's Day, so to any mothers reading this, I hope you had an amazing holiday! As I teased last week, I have a special movie to cover, right on brand with Mother's Day, and it's none other than Mamma Mia! because what better movie to dedicate to a day all about mothers? Mamma Mia! is a love story between Sophie and Sky, a story of reconciliation between Donna and Sam, an adventure of Sophie trying to find out who her real father is, but most of all, it's a story about a mother and her daughter.
One of the best things to come out of TikTok is the many Mamma Mia! trends, from the recreations of the Chiquitita scene to all the girls following in Donna Sheridan's footsteps and going on a Greek adventure. I remember seeing the movie twice in theaters when it came out in 2008, and the second time I saw it, it was the sing-along version. However, I also remember the two times I saw Mamma Mia! on Broadway, and it remains one of my favorite shows. I was devastated when it left and am still holding out for the day it makes its return. With all the popularity it's gained on social media, I'm surprised it hasn't made its comeback yet.
I first saw it when I was very young, too young to remember much other than the very big and blindingly bright moon during the ending scene where Sophie and Sky explore the world instead of getting married. However, I saw it again for my 17th birthday after it moved from the Winter Garden Theatre to Broadhurst Theatre and was reminded why it stayed on Broadway for 14 years. It may be off Broadway now, but Universal Pictures made it possible to relive the show over and over again when the movie adaptation of Mamma Mia! was released in 2008.
Mamma Mia! introduced a whole new generation to ABBA's music, and every time I go out with my friends to an ABBA theme night called Gimme Gimme Disco, I'm reminded of how many young people love ABBA and how Mamma Mia! was a catalyst for the group's popularity in the 21st century. There are so many aspects of the film I can explore, diving into its characters, plotlines, and Harry's coming out story which I'm embarrassed to admit I had no recollection of but would love the potential Mamma Mia 3 to explore. However, since this is my Mother's Day newsletter, I'll be sticking to the story of Donna and her relationship with Sophie.
Mamma Mia 2 dives into Donna's origin story of how she became a single mother with three options of who her daughter's father could be, but even without her origins, she's an easy character to understand, especially growing up with a single mother myself. Donna finds her happily ever after at the end of Mamma Mia! which I'm still a little apprehensive about because why was she so quick to marry a man she hasn't seen in 20 years who was secretly engaged to someone else during their short-lived relationship? It seems like a huge risk, but I understand it was essential to Donna's character development.
The whole film, Donna opposes her daughter's plans to get married because Donna never married herself. She spent her youth exploring the world, which we see in the second film, and chose to remain on the Greek island of Kalokairi, never returning home to her mother who she had a strained relationship with. However, Donna doesn't want this for her and Sophie. She wants to be someone Sophie can rely on, which is why she bites her tongue most of the film, allowing her daughter to go through with what she sees as a huge mistake.
The reason so many women resonate with Mamma Mia! is linked to the complicated but loving relationship Donna and Sophie have. Donna is trying to do a better job with her daughter than her mother did with her, and she's trying to give Sophia a better life than she had. Unfortunately, this well-known mother-daughter dynamic never ends well.
In Donna and Sophie's case, it's full of projections from Donna, who isn't taking into account that her daughter, while raised by her and her morals, is still her own person with her own life experiences that have led to her own desires. The fact that Sophie went through life with the pain of never knowing her father made her want a real family so her children would never have to experience that instability.
This results in a big fight about an hour into Mamma Mia! where Sophie finally breaks down because she's tired of her mother trying to tell her what's best for her. Sophie makes some valid points because even if Donna is only trying to prevent her from making the mistakes she made in life, she doesn't know Sophie better than Sophie does.
Amid the stress of Sophie's wedding, Donna is struggling with her hotel, Bella Donna, which she runs independently and refuses to accept help from anyone else. She even refuses a check from Harry when he tries to chip in for Sophie's wedding. After Donna's splendid performance of "Money, Money, Money," it may come as a surprise she's turned down a check despite singing about wanting a rich man to come and pay for everything so she wouldn't have to work anymore.
However, this fits well with Donna's character and the expectations society puts on single mothers to do it all and never ask for help because asking for help is equated with weakness. In Mamma Mia 2, Lily James portrays an adventurous, carefree young Donna, and in Mamma Mia! Sam, Harry, and Bill often speak of Donna in this way. However, Donna let that light inside of herself dim because of the struggles of single motherhood, and everyone around her can see this. Meanwhile, Sophie still has the enthusiasm that Donna had when she was younger, and this is a massive contributor to their challenging dynamic.
Donna sees how excited Sophie is about life and her relationship with Sky, and she's terrified her daughter will make the wrong decision and end up miserable like she is. It's not Donna's fault, though, because she's doing the best she can with everything she knows up to this point. That's what all mothers are doing, and, even broader, that's what all people are doing. If Donna knew how to swallow her pride and follow the right path to improving her life, she would do it. She eventually comes to learn this at the end when she finally surrenders.
“Whatever happened to our Donna? Life and soul of the party! El Rock Chick Supremo!”-Tanya to Donna.
I still think Donna should have given herself some time to get to know Sam again before tying the knot so quickly. However, the wedding was already paid for, and when Sophie decides to call everything off, it's the most convenient way to not make everything go to waste. Also, Donna marrying Sam is crucial to her character development, and its purpose exceeds her trying not to waste all the work that went into the wedding.
I don't believe Donna getting back with Sam was the key to her happiness and the solution to all her issues, and I don't think this is what Mamma Mia! was conveying. The point of the storyline was Donna had to let down her walls, own up to the fact that she was still hurt all those years later from what Sam did to her, and admit that she still loved him. She could have admitted all that and remained single, and it still would have helped her grow, but again, a lot of work went into that wedding.
Most importantly, in Donna's ability to surrender, she grew closer to Sophie because she realized how wrong she'd been and that she was projecting her own hurt onto her daughter. The most important and most emotional scene in Mamma Mia!, where things shift for Donna and Sophie, comes after their big fight.
Despite their argument, Sophie asks her mother to help her get ready for her wedding, and during an evocative performance of "Slipping Through My Fingers," Donna realizes she's struggling with watching her daughter grow up and go out into the world. A part of her, as Sam suggested, is afraid of being left alone at her rundown hotel, even though she doesn't want to admit this.
This scene is also when Sophie asks Donna to give her away at the wedding despite spending the whole movie trying to decide which one of her potential fathers should give her away. Sophie goes against societal norms, realizing that her untraditional lifestyle made her who she is and gave her a strong bond with her mother that not everyone has.
“I wouldn't have had it any other way. My God, look at what we've had.”-Donna to Sophie.
She's happy at the end of the film to have three men willing to step up and take on the role of her father, but she's no longer harping on the fact that she didn't know her dad growing up because she knows her mother did the best she could and she wouldn't trade the life they had together for the world.
Despite their close bond, I'm happy with the reason behind Sophie's choice not to get married. It wasn't because Donna disapproved but because Sophie realized it wasn't really what she wanted, and it was never what Sky wanted. She decided they could still be together and go out and see the world and save marriage for a later date when they both felt ready. Sophie came to this decision on her own and was most influenced by a disagreement she had with Sky earlier in the day.
Even though Sophie's relationship with Donna is the most crucial of the film, what they both learn is Sophie is her own person who needs to find herself by making her own decisions, not only listening to what her mother thinks is best for her. While Donna may have had some influence on Sophie's decision, it was mainly based on her own realization, not Donna's.
I invite all men to listen to ABBA and watch Mamma Mia! and love the musical as much as I do, but I believe the relationship between Sophie and Donna can only be understood by girls and their mothers. Beneath the music, the comedy, and the choreography, the mother-daughter relationship is what's made the stage musical and the film so impactful, which is why no other movie was a better fit for my Mother's Day newsletter.
I hope you learned as much from this newsletter as Donna and Sophie learned in Mamma Mia! and I hope you come back next week for more. You can ensure you don't miss that newsletter or any others by subscribing below! Also, tell your ABBA-loving friends about it, and send them the link!